


Ranting

by KasumiChou



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Coaches, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, ranting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-14 01:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11197467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KasumiChou/pseuds/KasumiChou
Summary: The male coaches often get together at the end of a competition for a drink.Lilia decides to join them.





	1. Chapter 1

“I miss when Chris was sweet and innocent.”

Yakov let out a chuckle while looking at Josef’s defeated look.

“How do you think I feel? Victor was never an angel, but at least he wasn’t this wild,” Yakov said with a sigh as he picked up his beer and took a sip.

“At least your skaters didn’t come home with a tramp stamp,” Alain mumbled into his beer.

“The difference between you and us, Alain, is that your skater is also your son. You’d have to put up with him anyway. We volunteer for this crap,” Celestino laughed while slapping Alain back.

“Don’t remind me, I can deal with the maple lead tattoo, but the tramp stamp?” Alain groaned.

“I lost half of my own hair when Victor turned up to practice after cutting his long hair,” Yakov mumbled while shaking his head.

“You two are lucky, at least you didn’t have an angel come up to you and ask if he can wear a skin type costume that highlights his butt. I swear I fainted in shock when Chris asked me that,” Josef groaned.

“At least you guys don’t have to monitor a social media account twenty-four, seven. I swear Phichit is going to kill me one day, he just runs off for the perfect media shot without factoring in the danger. He climbed a statue in Russia to get a good shot of some building or something,” Celestino groaned while finishing off his drink.

“I’ve had to replace seven phones because Yuri has smashed them to pieces. Seven! The boy has only been in my care for three years,” he grumbled before lifting up his beer and taking a deep drink.

“When Japanese Yuuri was in my care, I swear I spent every competition convincing him he did fine. Every competition,” Celestino sighed with a shake of his head.

“Jean joined a rock band and then comes to me and declares he is going to skate to his bands song,” Alain said while shaking his head.

“I do not understand what you are complaining about,” the four male coaches turned to the only woman at the table. Lilia sat there, a glass of wine held in her hand.

“You all have wonderful skaters that try their best. Shouldn’t you be thankful for that?” Lilia questioned while glancing between the four males.

“But we are, Lilia,” Josef chuckled.

“I am very thankful that Jean is so dedicated, but sometimes I just need to rant,” Alain said with a small smile.

“Phichit and Yuuri are both lovely boys. It saddens me that Yuuri got another coach, but it is clear that Yuuri is better in Victor’s hands than my own,” Celestino said with a soft smile.

“Venting, Lilia, we care for each of our skaters, but sometimes we just need to vent,” he explained with a wave of his hand.

“I do not understand, but please do not stop on my account,” Lilia said with a wave of her hand.

“Do you not ever have a moment where you want to punish your Yuri for his mouth?” Josef questioned, causing Lilia to glance towards the bald man and nod her head slowly.

“That is what we are doing, talking about those times. The Grand Prix is over, it is break time before we all hurry back for National Championships,” Josef explained with a gentle smile.

“I see,” Lilia said with a nod.

“Oh god, nationals,” Alain groaned while rubbing his forehead, “Jeans be at me about wanting to try and break a world record at Nationals.”

“Tell your boy to keep dreaming, if anyone is breaking any records it is Victor,” Yakov said with smirk, earning a snort from Lilia.

“Don’t rule Yuri out just yet, Yakov,” Lilia warned while taking a sip of her wine.

“Hey now, Phichit has been breaking records all season, they just aren’t fancy ones like your Russian skaters,” Celestino pointed out with a smirk.

“May god have mercy on all of us,” Josef said while raising his beer. Yakov chuckle as he rose his own glass and gently tapped it against Josef’s along with Celestino and Alain.

“Amen to that,” Alain mumbled as they all took a sip of their beers.

“You all need more than god,” Lilia mumbled, resulting in the table bursting into laughter at how true the former ballerina’s words were.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another competition down, another chance for all the male coaches to meet up and complain about their skaters.

“Can you believe it? He wanted a live band to play while he skated. A LIVE ROCK BAND!” Alain groaned while rubbing his forehead, while the other three males at the table hid snickers of amusement behind their classes of beer.

“That isn’t allow,” Lilia said ever so softly while frowning at the destressed Canadian, “Right?”

“Exactly!” Alain shouted.

“It’s okay, Alain, we have all dealt with troublesome skaters,” Josef said while patting the upset Canadian shoulders.

“Everyone but Celestino,” Yakov mumbled.

“Hey!” Celestino said while raising an eyebrow, “Where did you get that impression?”

“Your ‘horror’ stories are mild at best,” Josef pointed out.

“Media scandals are your most common complain about your Thai Prince,” Alain pointed out.

“Phichit isn’t a prince. Don’t let him hear you say that,” Celestino said seriously before taking a large sip of his drink.

“I am interested to hear what type of complaints you have for your skaters that doesn’t involve social media,” Lilia spoke up, getting hums of agreement from the three other male coaches.

“Any of you ever had to bail any of your skaters out of jail?” Celestino questioned, causing the table to go quiet.

“Jail?” Alain questioned in surprise.

“Yep. When I was in America with Phichit and Yuuri, they got themselves arrested,” Celestino sighed deeply.

“Dare I ask why?” Lilia questioned with a frown.

Celestino opened his mouth, only to pause and let out a loud sigh.

“God, it is such a stupid story,” Celestino mumbled more to himself than his fellow.

“Now I really want to hear this,” Alain mumbled, earning a chuckle from Josef.

“Simply, it involved alcohol, spray cans and government property,” Celestino said with a sigh.

“That sounds,” Yakov started before trailing off, letting out a sigh and shaking his head.

“Boys will be boys,” Lilia pointed out, earning a deep sigh for Celestino.

“You say that, Miss Lilia, but my boys aren’t wild child’s unless alcohol is involved,” Celestino insisted while lifting up his beer and slamming it down onto the table again.

“Do explain,” the former prima ballerina said, waving her hand in a circular motion.

“Hold on a second,” Josef spoke up, “The drinking age in America is twenty-one.”

“That it is,” Celestino said with a nod.

“Thai Prince isn’t twenty-one,” Alain continued, earning a nod from Josef.

“I’m well aware,” Celestino groaned.

“Okay, I really need to hear this story now,” Alain said while catching a waitress as she hurried passed and ordered another round of drinks for the table.

“Yuuri had just turned twenty-one,” Celestino started before pausing to finish his beer which was half spilt across the table. “And gave them both a weekend off, let Yuuri experience adulthood, you know?”

Celestino paused and gave the other four coaches at the table a pleading look, clearly wanting them to agree with him.

“I did give Victor the weekend after his eighteen off,” Yakov mumbled.

“Do not remind me,” Josef mumbled with a sigh, “The current skating legend took my sweet, innocent Chris out clubbing. When he was underage!”

“Chris is far from sweet and innocent,” Alain snorted.

“I would have to agree. I feel like out of Victor and Chris, Victor is the more… innocent one,” Lilia piped up, earning a hum of agreement from Celestino and Alain.

“Okay, back to my story,” Celestino said as new drinks were brought to the table.

“So, gave the boys the weekend off, expecting Yuuri to go out with a few friends, experience alcohol and swear himself off the liquids for life. But no,” Celestino shook his head with a pained look on his face, “No, Phichit – somehow – gets his hands on a fake ID and convinces Yuuri to go out clubbing with him.”

“Doesn’t sound that bad yet,” Josef said while helping the waitress collect all the empty glasses.

“Did I mention that Yuuri is a horrible drunk?” Celestino asked while glancing around the table.

“I was at the banquet,” Yakov sighed.

“I’ve heard all about that banquet,” Alain pipped up.

“Do not remind me,” Josef sighed while shaking his head.

“What banquet?” Lilia questioned, earning a groan from Josef.

“Last years. Yuuri Katsuki got drunk, pole danced with Chris and somehow convinced Victor to be his coach, half naked might I point out,” Alain said with a bright smile.

“I… see,” Lilia said while slowly nodding her head.

“Yuuri isn’t a good drunk. It runs in the family,” Celestino explained with a weak smile, “Anyway, Phichit and Yuuri went out clubbing. Somehow, after getting kicked out of the club, for fighting, they somehow appeared sober enough to buy spray cans.”

“And then they vandalised some state propriety?” Alain guessed.

“Three police cars, a state library, the seventh floor of a popular hotel,” Celestino listed off, only to pause when Yakov held up a hand.

“Whoa, what? Seventh floor?” Yakov questioned confused.

“Yep, outside walls,” Celestino sighed sadly.

“Outside walls?” Alain gasped in surprise.

“I’m not even done,” Celestino said blankly.

“When did they get caught?” Lilia questioned with a frown on her face.

“They didn’t, they turned themselves in,” Celestino groaned.

“This… doesn’t surprise me,” Josef admitted.

“How much was it to bail them out?” Yakov questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Celestino gave all the other coaches are sorrowful look, “The police didn’t believe Phichit and Yuuri were the culprits because they were… too sweet.”

Alain started to laugh loudly at Celestino comment, laughing so hard that the table shook.

“Both boys do come off as rather… innocent,” Lilia said while giving Celestino a small smile.

“Neither of them are innocent, trust me,” Celestino mumbled before taking a large sip of his drink.

“Okay, so what have we learnt?” Josef asked, a smirk on his lips.

“That Celestino has the most innocent skaters?” Yakov said, the corner of his lip turned upright slightly.

“Over twenty-thousand dollars’ worth of government property damage!” Celestino declared loudly.

“Innocent,” Lilia agreed with a nod of her head.

“They beheaded the college statue!” Celestino groaned.

“At least your skaters don’t have a stamp tramp,” Alain groaned.

“Not again with the stamp tramp, Alain,” Yakov mumbled while sending the Canadian a bored look.

“They sent three people to the hospital with broken bones!” Celestino almost sobbed as he leant forwards and rested his forehead against the table.

“It’s okay now,” Lilia said while ever so awkwardly patting the long-haired man’s back.

“MY OWN SON HAS A STAMP TRAMP!” Alain yelled loudly while glaring at Yakov, “I have lost my pride!”

“At least you don’t have to dry clean your skaters costume after every use.”

The table grew silent at Josef’s words and the bald man nodded his head sadly.

“Gross,” Alain mumbled while shaking his head.

“I… have to agree,” Lilia said with a disgusted look on her face.

“They broke into a pet store and stole thirty-two hamsters,” Celestino ever so quietly mumbled into the table.

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble comes from my tumblr: [kasumi-chou](http://kasumi-chou.tumblr.com/post/161725814455/i-loved-the-yakovlilia-piece-but-it-got-me)


End file.
